"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Dylan Thomas


Ok, I have been pussyfooting around the issue for long enough, it's time to come clean. I think most of the people who have come to know me a little realize that there is something in my life that is causing me a great amount of difficulty at the moment.I have decided to share with you because I am beginning a journey soon, (no, not to Baltimore, that has been cancelled), more of a life journey. I have been diagnosed with a brainstem tumor. Don't let that freak you out, it isn't necessarily going to take me out, especially if I fight and fight hard. And I certainly plan to do just that.

It occurred to me that I am going to be needing to talk about what is happening and what better place than somewhere where I know I have support, and if people choose not to be here, that is ok too. Most everything I post here on dA is written out of frustration and yes...fear. I have debated against just telling everyone what is wrong, I don't want anyones pity, nor do I want anyone to think that this is the sum of my whole, I am more than my illness, I have thoughts and feelings and I have a future already planned out, I am sure that it is going to be waiting when I have passed this test.

So when you think of me, if you think of me, just send good wishes and prayers, no pity please. I don't need it. I can beat this, I have everything on my side and I am too stubborn to just lay down and give up. And if I write something that is depressing, well you always have the choice to just not read it. I am not trying to bring anyone else down to where I am, I just really thought it was time I got all of this off my chest.

And thank you to all of my dear ones that make everyday a reason to get back up and resume the fight, you mean everything to me.


And you Maki, ARE my everything...